Topics

CHILDREN & DIVORCE

Kids don’t automatically adapt to a change in their living situations or a parent moving out of the home.  Also, be aware that teenagers can view divorce as though a family memeber has died.  Thus, they may not tolerate divorce any better than a young child.   I often see a divorcing parent talk very disparagingly about the departing spouse.  Nothing can be more horrible for a child to hear from his or her parent that the other parent is some awful creature.  Think about it.  How would you feel if someone said some nasty, terrible thing about your mother or father?  Well, a child doesn't feet any better, I promise.  Even if you truly believe your spouse is a terrible human being, worse than the scum of the earth, don’t …….FOR MORE DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC CLICK HERE.

DIET AND EXERCISE

So what have you and your children eaten today?  I'll bet your first response is "Healthy food."  I have found that most diets are not as healthy as the person who follows them thinks they are.  Don't make the mistake of thinking that diet and excercise affect only weight and appearance.  One-third of children in the United States are obese or at risk of becoming obese.  Complications of obesity include a variety of issues.  These problems include but are not limited to…… FOR MORE DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC CLICK HERE.

TOO MANY ACTIVITIES

This topic of the child who is engaging in too many activities may seem insignificant.  On the contrary, though, it is very easy for well-meaning parents to overlook.  I have had many a sick office visit for a child who is feeling tired and worn out.  Parents and children both arrive at my office bewildered as to the cause.   After checking the child over from head to toe, I usually find….. FOR MORE DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC CLICK HERE.

YOUR CHILD AND STRESS

Yes, you are right if you think children can feel the stresses of life as adults do.  There is current evidence that even young children can be affected by extreme stress. On the other hand, it is important to note that normal, daily stress is actually helpful and crucial to our survival.  As a parent, it is important that you discuss the effects of stress with your children or teenagers.  Tell them that everyday stresses help people….. FOR MORE DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC CLICK HERE.

THE SMOTHERED & PAMPERED CHILD

The title of this chapter may sound odd at first, because who would ever smother and over-pamper their child?  The problems are, first, although there is not a parent in the world who would purposely psychologically smother a child, smothering is not a conscious act; and, second, parents instinctually want to pamper their children.  Therefore, as a parent, you will have to do mental checks periodically to make sure you are….. FOR MORE DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC CLICK HERE.

SAFTEY

As a parent, you have the right to make rules that your children need to follow to provide for their safety.  Your teenager may initially complain, but teens really want someone to guide, protect, and care about them.  If you’re not sure what to uphold, ask yourself a few questions to validate your decision.  Ask yourself if what your teenager is doing is considered safe, moral, and legal.  If you answered no to any of these questions, you need to …. FOR MORE DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC CLICK HERE.

EDUCATION

Education makes up a big part in what differentiates one individual from another.  I am not saying that we all have to be rocket scientists or nuclear physicists, but it is important that you stress education with your children.  Kids will think they can be like that last zillionaire on television who dropped out of high school and lived a wonderful life ever after.  There is no question that it can happen, just like winning the lottery can happen.  The chances are, of course, slim.  You have to be the role model to convince your children….. FOR MORE DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC CLICK HERE.

CHILD ABUSE & MALTREATMENT

This is a subject that always causes a bit of stress and anxiety among individuals with or without children.  A parent lives in a complicated world.  Not only do they have to worry about themselves, they have to worry about the health and welfare of their children.  Not only do they have to concern themselves about their child today, they must prepare and give the child the upbringing and tools to become a happy, healthy, and successful adult. These concerns make even the strongest and most intelligent individuals weak at the….. FOR MORE DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC CLICK HERE.

DISCIPLINE – THE GOLDEN RULES

I really believe all children are born good.  Severe discipline problems are probably a symptom or manifestation of other problems occurring in the family and child.  Thus, ongoing discipline problems may be a sign of depression, anger, resentment, anxiety, lack of attention, and other social problems.  Therefore, if you have a child or adolescent who has nonstop discipline issues, think of the problem as a whole, not just that your child is acting out.  If you are going through a separation or divorce, seek professional help through a family therapist.  Remember, your child’s problem may not be just his or her problem.  If your child is having problems with learning, seek educational help.  If your child seems constantly angry for unknown reasons, definitely consider…… FOR MORE DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC CLICK HERE.

THE FORGOTTEN PARENTAL ROLES

I hope all parents or future parents read this chapter carefully.  The one and only rule is that once you become a parent, parenting does not become optional.  I have seen many cases when parents decide on their own that they do not have to provide supervision and financial support for the child.  This decision is, many times, easily made when there is a new love interest in a parent’s life.  Your children should come first, not your new romance.  Also, I firmly believe that if a parent becomes involved in a new romance, the new partner should….. FOR MORE DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC CLICK HERE.

SUBSTANCE ABUSE

If you find that your child is abusing substances, don't blame yourself for the problem.  You did not cause the problem.  Unfortunately, denial can allow you and other family members not to face the problem of substance abuse squarely.  Family members can also enable the individual whose substance use is out of control to perpetuate the problem by ignoring destructive and inappropriate behavior.  Close friends and concerned family members will even help pay the rent, for example, of an affected individual when a job is lost because of substance use.  A growing problem among children in the United States is the use of ….. FOR MORE DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC CLICK HERE.

DEALING WITH YOUR CHILD’S DOCTOR

When you visit with your pediatrician, don’t be afraid to say what you are expecting from him or her.  Doctors like to know up front, in a non-demanding way, where a parent is coming from.  If you are expecting an antibiotic, for example, say so.  The doctor will happily tell you why one is or is not needed.  Ultimately, being up front saves everyone time.  On the other hand, if your doctor recommends a medication but….. FOR MORE DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC CLICK HERE.

FAMILY COMMUNICATION

If you find that your children suddenly seem to act differently, ask them how they are feeling at that moment.  Ask them what they are thinking.  Ask them what they would love to do right now if they could do anything.  These are good questions from which you can learn a lot about your child’s innermost thoughts.  If your child asks questions, try to be as open and honest as possible.  A young child needs….. FOR MORE DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC CLICK HERE.

MOTIVATING & COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR TEENAGER

Your children are constantly trying to see how they fit in with the rest of the world.   There can be some really rocky moments in the process of self-discovery.  If you are not completely sure how you can help your teens, simply ask them, and then, obviously, do what you can.  If they really don’t want to talk much at a particular moment, remember that a teenager’s lack of communication is typical.  Many times all they will give are one-word answers before disappearing quickly into another room.  Just remember to keep trying and don’t….. FOR MORE DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC CLICK HERE.

ADOPTION